Try it

The fist hug. when someone goes to give you a fist bump just place your warmed cupped hand right over top of it....giving it a safe cozy place to call home. The awkward unsure look of the fist's owner will be simply the face of a person who realizes that finally their fist has found a place to call home.

I couldnt be prouder

Friday, June 19,2009 The Florida Times Union -

In BIG BOLD lettering:

FCAT SCORES
St. Johns leads breakout among region's schools

-Crist Credits Duval, "I couldnt be prouder,"

As such, Crist has since enrolled in his local remedial English classes for a refresher on the usage of more, most, and morer.

Mentor's

Sometimes things get sideways and talking to a mentor helps. Sometimes that mentor doesnt have the answer but somehow, with a wisdom that you respect mightily, you just feel better when they say, "I hear you."

That's priceless.

UFC and Douche

In Jacksonville anyways, the UFC raises the douche quotient substantially.

Some of you may be asking, "Why would the UFC raise the amount of feminine hygiene product usage up....especially substantially?"

First you must understand that your feminine rinse is no longer "douche" as much as the big companies would like to hang on to their dear word. Oh no, the word "douche" has been stolen in the dark of night, like a baby by a crazy lady.

Douche is now defined by upper teen to lower 30's guys and gals who wear shirts with logos by Affliction, or TapouT, or UFC on them. This can be tagged with an exclamation point by wearing a beanie of the same ilk. To pull off the douche look it's best if you generally are a skinny-ish type but find yourself working out leading up to said event and then breathing in a ton of air before walking into the Sports Bar your going to bless with your gang's presence. Hopefully the host seats you quickly before you have to breathe again showing us your true frame, because we're ALL watching you. If at all possible try to make something on you shiny, something to truly catch the crowds eye....perhaps a gold plated necklace worn outside of your shirt. Try to gel your hair up into a peak...as it's the in thing.

Anyways, ladies douche-ism is a real scourge so be sure to stay away from it at all costs...

Even Rudy has got the infection:

POOl

So I've been told that a pool is just a hole in the ground you keep dumping money in to.

I do not have a pool. I do have a Hot Tub.

Now first things first:

I received a prescription for my hot tub because my back hurts. It hurts. Just like yours hurts. So due to this Doctor's recommendation I did not have to pay sales tax on it. Cha-ching.

Now it's getting hot out, the summer is staring us down the pipe and I just know it's gonna be a scorcher, how do I know? My lawn tells me so.

So I will commence turning the temperature down on my Hot Tub to, POOl temperature and have my itsy bitsy POOl in the backyard however mine doubles as a HOT Tub in the Winter AND it came with a warranty AND I havnt had to wheel any money into the top of it.

I highly recommend a HOT Tub / Itsy Bitsy POOl combo for anyone looking for some water in the backyard.

Do not try to dive in it....you'll die.

hmph, so these jokers sent me a letter letting me know that our contract has changed. Oh really? When did we sit down and negotiate this?

Right the best part is that they now deem a 'foreign transaction' one that may involve an online retailer from a foreign country. Mr BoA that's an awfully broad definition and cant wait to see how you apply this.

Face it. You big shots in the banks, at the tippy top that got used to sickly ROI while being allowed to take on risks that not even you could understand, are going to have to get used to the new idea of finance which is less ROI and less pay. You are going to have to get used to the idea that the Wild West of Banking has come to an end and it has nothing to do with a change at the White House or Capital but has to do with the house of cards you built.

Had you been smart at the gamble you wouldve sold out and gone and lived in Barbados about 5 years ago. Unfortuantely some of you stuck around a wee bit too long....so you suffer in your foreclosed company like millions of others. Some of it will come about to have been Criminal I am certain but in the meantime, raise my fees, raise people's rates in the dark of night, because the internet changes the competitive ballgame. A quick search shows me some wonderful ROI and control at Everbank. Lets see what a quick switch nets me.

Well Bellsouth, your customer service and inconsistent DSL service has brought the mea culpe today!! I have had it. No more will our internet go out during a heavy rainstorm, no longer will I have to go into the closet to reset the modem, and no longer will I have to deal with your customer service rep who sits there in silence after I finish my sentence until I say, "I think it's your turn." Enough is enough and I am that person who finally stood up to the bully and said, "No! We are not going to stand by anymore while you take our lunch money, beat up our brothers and sisters and rape our parents and fields of corn! We will take a stand and from this day forward we will tie your hands to the fencepost and poop on you! Right!?" A quick look to the crowd shows a mass of curious faces, some pensive and even one hand is raised but I know it's due to the full support!!! Are you with me!???