UFC and Douche

In Jacksonville anyways, the UFC raises the douche quotient substantially.

Some of you may be asking, "Why would the UFC raise the amount of feminine hygiene product usage up....especially substantially?"

First you must understand that your feminine rinse is no longer "douche" as much as the big companies would like to hang on to their dear word. Oh no, the word "douche" has been stolen in the dark of night, like a baby by a crazy lady.

Douche is now defined by upper teen to lower 30's guys and gals who wear shirts with logos by Affliction, or TapouT, or UFC on them. This can be tagged with an exclamation point by wearing a beanie of the same ilk. To pull off the douche look it's best if you generally are a skinny-ish type but find yourself working out leading up to said event and then breathing in a ton of air before walking into the Sports Bar your going to bless with your gang's presence. Hopefully the host seats you quickly before you have to breathe again showing us your true frame, because we're ALL watching you. If at all possible try to make something on you shiny, something to truly catch the crowds eye....perhaps a gold plated necklace worn outside of your shirt. Try to gel your hair up into a peak...as it's the in thing.

Anyways, ladies douche-ism is a real scourge so be sure to stay away from it at all costs...

Even Rudy has got the infection:

POOl

So I've been told that a pool is just a hole in the ground you keep dumping money in to.

I do not have a pool. I do have a Hot Tub.

Now first things first:

I received a prescription for my hot tub because my back hurts. It hurts. Just like yours hurts. So due to this Doctor's recommendation I did not have to pay sales tax on it. Cha-ching.

Now it's getting hot out, the summer is staring us down the pipe and I just know it's gonna be a scorcher, how do I know? My lawn tells me so.

So I will commence turning the temperature down on my Hot Tub to, POOl temperature and have my itsy bitsy POOl in the backyard however mine doubles as a HOT Tub in the Winter AND it came with a warranty AND I havnt had to wheel any money into the top of it.

I highly recommend a HOT Tub / Itsy Bitsy POOl combo for anyone looking for some water in the backyard.

Do not try to dive in it....you'll die.