Im a Butt Dialer

Yes I am. I hate my phone. When I got my phone it was glitzy, glamour-y, and it loved me. It showed me what a phone can do when you have a full keyboard on the front of it, it's little bumps like that on those flip floppy Adidas' that the soccer player and wanna be athletes wear. At any time I could just type out anything my little heart can encapsulate in 160 letters, symbols, or spaces, sometimes dots.

But the phone has gotten angry, bitter. She has seen the new wave of phones and her slip is showing. Her self confidence has been beaten much like the corners of the phone and the tip of the little antenna that has the marks that a trip across the asphalt should leave. She's overweight now but that's not really a fault because when she had her coming out party she was curvy just like the rest of them, now she's sloppy. Her face isn't as beautiful as the new breed and she isnt, well, she just isn't as smart as the new girls. She knows it. Ask her to do few things at the same time and she simply gets overwhelmed and needs a nap. Her eyesight isn't as sharp as the new breed and what used to be a lot of megapixels well is lacking against the new squad.

It's a shame but she tries to impress me still. Every now and then Ill notice her doing something on her own like trying to attach to the data package. Why? I'm not sure but it's not that impressive anymore dear. You're still a bit slow, even when you put your heels on.

To top it off, she doesnt work well with others, syncing, copying, emailing, just seems to leave her in the dust while the rest of the class moves on to the next chapter you can see her, in the back of the room, that scared look in her eye, wanting to raise her hand, wanting to ask that question, but knowing that all of the girls in the class will giggle, laugh, and even the teacher will say, "Palm. I understand that you're having a difficult time but now is not the time for me to try and catch just one student up to the rest of the class. You'll have to see me after school for some extra tutoring." Needless to say, Palm will just leave the class when the bell rings, end up in the parking lot bumming a cigarette off of one of the newer laptops who will eventually take advantage of her and break her heart.

It's a shame but it's almost time to trade the old girl in for a newer girl, a faster, slicker, sexier girl who plays well with others, can do all kinds of things at the same time, with a face to die for, and an ability to make even the man whose arm she clings to look good.