Crap Salad

So I was shopping at my local grocery store today when I was confronted by an ethical dilemma. Not my ethical dilemma but one in which I jumped into my 'way back' machine to earlier that morning. See earlier this morning the Winn Dixie produce manager had this conversation with himself:

"Self. This bag of premade salad looks like it's going bad. See that Radicchio? it looks kinda reddish anyways, perhaps no one will notice it getting slimy and getting more brown in color. hmmmm, I have a lot of this stuff. It all shares the same qualities in it's clear bag. Maybe I should throw it out and explain to Jim the GM. Hmmm, Jim will be mad and want to spank me.....I've got it! Self, lets go get that roll of $1 off stickers and slap it on the bags! Than they'll move. Good job, self."

Now I stand here, in the present, holding said bag saying to myself, "self, this lettuce looks like crap. This is a Crap Salad. I will not buy you. Crap Salad, not even for a dollar off. " So I look around at Crap Salad's competition, Iceberg, Caeser, shreds....eh, im turned off of salad tonight, as I eye Crap Salad. Thanks Crap Salad, it'll be Texas Toast tonight.